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Giuseppe Zanotti RW70116 08LMm
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By Daniel Benson Updated:
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'It will make me a better rider if I can do some crits and get my ass kicked'

1 / 5
(Tim de Waele/TDWSport.com)
2 / 5
(Tim de Waele/TDWSport.com)
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(Sirotti)
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(Tim de Waele/TDWSport.com)
5 / 5
Laurens ten Dam leads LottoNL-Jumbo on a training ride
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Laurens ten Dam 's one year deal with Giant Alpecin signifies a bold new step in the veteran rider's career, and one that will see him compete on both sides of the Atlantic in 2016.

Having left Birkenstock Arizona Washed Metallic Blue Sandal hcjHNy9u
this year, the former Tour de France top-10 finisher was keen to dovetail a race programme in the US with major European events mixed in. Giant Alpecin, who have shifted focus and will have a more all-round team with objectives in the sprints and in stage races, stepped in and offered ten Dam the chance he had been looking for.

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Although his race programme has yet to be fully defined – and may rely on UCI rules that govern WorldTour riders competing in US domestic races – ten Dam believes that the switch will work.

"There were quite a few pluses from my point of view as to why I've gone there," he told Cyclingnews on the eve of his transfer being made official.

"Sometimes when you're looking for the ideal scenario it takes a little bit longer and this has turned out to be ideal for me and the team. It's all come together in the end."

Ten Dam's long association with LottoNL-Jumbo dates back to their Rabobank days and in that time the Dutch rider firmly established himself as one of their most consistent performers in three-week races. However, and by his own admission, this year's Tour de France was a disappointment with a finish outside of the top 80 places in GC. That, coupled with a training crash in which he was hit by a vehicle , led him to reassess his ambitions in both his life and his profession.

"Things changed quite a bit for me after this year's Tour de France. Ten days after the race a car drove into the back of me. That changed my perspective on a few things and I realised that I could have died or been paralysed for the rest of my life," he said.

Chewed Up , 2008

“You know it’s bad to jerk off and run out the door, ’cause you run into somebody, ‘oh, she knows.’ You gotta take some time alone to process the shame.” — Chewed Up, 2008

“I don’t even jerk off to her, that’s how much I like her. I still just jerk off to that wedding album I found in the garbage. ” — Louie, “Daddy’s Girlfriend: Part 1,” 2012

” — Louie, “Daddy’s Girlfriend: Part 1,” 2012

“I’m 42, I’m really good at masturbating. I’m like the best masturbator on the planet earth. I’m really there is nobody better at that than me, so I’m gonna continue to excel at that. I’m gonna focus on that and raising my children. I know it’s not nice to say both those things in one sentence, but they happen to be the two things that I do the best.” — Louie, “Night Out,” 2010

Louie, “Night Out,” 2010

“Before that, I was, uh, it was just memasturbatingcopiously,happily, Iloved it. When I discovered masturbation, I was so happy, I loved it. Everybody loves it. Nobody’s [jerking off motion], ‘this fucking sucks.’ It’s pretty universally liked.” — Shameless, 2007

Shameless, 2007

“As far as sex goes, for guys it’s a release. It’s not complicated. We just need it.Women, it’s a fucking emotional thing … We need to cum, just because we need to … For guys, it’s something we need to do so we don’t murder people … maintenance, open the fucking valve every once in a while, please. The city should put a red tag on a dick that has a PSI level that’s unacceptable.” — Louis CK: Shameless , 2007

Louis CK: Shameless , 2007

“Now when I see a beautiful girl walking down the street, I’m like, ‘Hey,fuck you, I don’t give a shit.’ — ew. Go fucksomebody else, I’ll jerk off to you later, probably have a better time.” — Shameless, 2007

“My dick had touched a lot of things — because — that’swhat you do when you’re ayoung boy, you touch your dick to many surfaces around the world, just fucking looking for anything that feels good enough — that, uh, you don’t have totalk to a girl.” — Shameless , 2007

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